i've been attempting to locate an appropriate starting point for this blog, this internship, this new chapter of my life but it's been very difficult so far. this is such a surreal experience, and there is so much that has now dug it's way very very deeply into my heart, yet i'm trying not to overwhelm the world with my first post.
it was a very intense week. the training for this job is thorough, and very intense.
i didn't realize how deeply these children affect my heart. i really truly want the world to know. it can seem so overwhelming, because there are so many people and it may seem like there is so little we can do but the more my brain is crammed with statistics and numbers about the programs invisible children does, the more i really understand how i'm now part of something so incredibly capable of enacting lasting change on this tiny African nation.
my heart lies there. truly. i didn't realize how instantly something this big would change you. nothing else seems significant. really. i feel like i can no longer relate to my friends and family outside this job because i cant hear complaints about money and schoolwork, having just watched a video of a 15 year old boy forced to kill his entire family.
how do you help change the perspective of others after something like that?
we were given an orientation session on the history of the war, taught by Laren himself. (if you aren't aware, Laren Bobby and Jason are the 3 filmmakers of the original IC rough cut and the founders of the company...which will be explained in the video at the end of this post.) I was blown away at how deep the roots of this conflict go, and how much hostility and resentment there is even within the country itself. (it's complicated, but the southern people of Uganda feel no pity for the Acholi's plight because of horrible atrocities committed against them by the Acholi themselves in the 80's) and how much pain there remains in this region.
It got me thinking about the past semester of my life. When I think about it, there's still a deeply rooted seed of resentment, anger, and pain towards some of the people I once called my best friends. And yet, it all becomes so tiny in comparison. I honestly rarely think about it anymore. I'm going to post a snippet of a conversation with a friend from the other day, who I will call "J", who has been involved in the root of this since the beginning. Many of you reading this will notice the same things he did. The only reason I post this, as it may seem irrelevant to my job, is because we cannot understand anything about where we are going, until we see where we have come from. This was the whole basis behind learning the history of the war. With that,
Natalie
i just am very much convinced that God has a very specific plan, and we manage to screw it up pretty badly, but nothing is bad in his eyes so he figures something better out for us.
11:10pm
J
i like that
11:10pm
Natalie
you know? it's like, we are never missing out on something because we fuck it up,
we just do something different.
11:11pm
J
ha ha
very very true
11:11pm
Natalie
i honestly dont think i am missing out on anything not being at westmont this semester
i thought it was the end of the world
and now it's the beginning.
11:11pm
J
you're making me smile right now
11:11pm
Natalie
really?
because i sound so different than i did 3 months ago? haha
11:12pm
J
yes
and it's about stinkin time
and furthermore, as written in an email to my dean of students:
"It's amazing how such a dramatic and difficult experience is what is sometimes needed to change a perspective completely, or even be the catalyst to snap us out of patterns or worldviews that are ultimately destructive. I've learned so much through this summer about Myself and the direction God has for my life versus the path I was previously on. Sometimes we get lost and need a pretty big awakening to be reminded of where we should be. "
And now, for those of you who really have no idea what I'm even doing...this should help. Also check out any of our media, because they are all absolutely fantastic.
it was a very intense week. the training for this job is thorough, and very intense.
i didn't realize how deeply these children affect my heart. i really truly want the world to know. it can seem so overwhelming, because there are so many people and it may seem like there is so little we can do but the more my brain is crammed with statistics and numbers about the programs invisible children does, the more i really understand how i'm now part of something so incredibly capable of enacting lasting change on this tiny African nation.
my heart lies there. truly. i didn't realize how instantly something this big would change you. nothing else seems significant. really. i feel like i can no longer relate to my friends and family outside this job because i cant hear complaints about money and schoolwork, having just watched a video of a 15 year old boy forced to kill his entire family.
how do you help change the perspective of others after something like that?
we were given an orientation session on the history of the war, taught by Laren himself. (if you aren't aware, Laren Bobby and Jason are the 3 filmmakers of the original IC rough cut and the founders of the company...which will be explained in the video at the end of this post.) I was blown away at how deep the roots of this conflict go, and how much hostility and resentment there is even within the country itself. (it's complicated, but the southern people of Uganda feel no pity for the Acholi's plight because of horrible atrocities committed against them by the Acholi themselves in the 80's) and how much pain there remains in this region.
It got me thinking about the past semester of my life. When I think about it, there's still a deeply rooted seed of resentment, anger, and pain towards some of the people I once called my best friends. And yet, it all becomes so tiny in comparison. I honestly rarely think about it anymore. I'm going to post a snippet of a conversation with a friend from the other day, who I will call "J", who has been involved in the root of this since the beginning. Many of you reading this will notice the same things he did. The only reason I post this, as it may seem irrelevant to my job, is because we cannot understand anything about where we are going, until we see where we have come from. This was the whole basis behind learning the history of the war. With that,
Natalie
i just am very much convinced that God has a very specific plan, and we manage to screw it up pretty badly, but nothing is bad in his eyes so he figures something better out for us.
11:10pm
J
i like that
11:10pm
Natalie
you know? it's like, we are never missing out on something because we fuck it up,
we just do something different.
11:11pm
J
ha ha
very very true
11:11pm
Natalie
i honestly dont think i am missing out on anything not being at westmont this semester
i thought it was the end of the world
and now it's the beginning.
11:11pm
J
you're making me smile right now
11:11pm
Natalie
really?
because i sound so different than i did 3 months ago? haha
11:12pm
J
yes
and it's about stinkin time
and furthermore, as written in an email to my dean of students:
"It's amazing how such a dramatic and difficult experience is what is sometimes needed to change a perspective completely, or even be the catalyst to snap us out of patterns or worldviews that are ultimately destructive. I've learned so much through this summer about Myself and the direction God has for my life versus the path I was previously on. Sometimes we get lost and need a pretty big awakening to be reminded of where we should be. "
And now, for those of you who really have no idea what I'm even doing...this should help. Also check out any of our media, because they are all absolutely fantastic.
